always sometimes...

there is always sometimes
i like to recall memory from last time ago
perhaps it is our human nature to be nostalgic

this morning i was yearning my college life
tutorias;,presentations,tests,assignments.exams...
each of those had bring me much memory

first day to reach campus,
crowded by unknown college-mates
nervous beaten inside my heart

no any basis concept about accounting
felt myself choose inappropriate course
drop out decision flash thru my mind

cousemates were enthusiastic
ice wall bewtween us had been break
humorously sarcastic become our way to communicate

Best ever feel to live with buddies
even though friction did exist between us
 perhaps it is the way to strenghten our friendship

days to complete assignments,
joy around with group members
at the end marks achieved quite standard too.hehe~

nights to burn the midnight oil
by eaten roti susu, drank Coffee
let me full with energy to fight with lethargy

days to seat for exam
arguous struggled i never face before
but, eventually we all had endure those hardships

after the end term of exams
went to mamak stall for a fresh break
chat till late of night about the past, present and future

graduation gown draped on myself
symbolize i had end my two years college life
time to say goodbye to all to them
time to enter a whole new chapter of my life
time to return my parents grace^^.



Chyin Pui's b'day outdoor celerbration - everyone sprinkle with flour XD

迷惘

有时候
总觉得你让我喘不过气
都了解是因为你重视我
可是心里头闷着不耐烦
不喜欢
你三五不时地
信息我，打电给我
我觉得很约束
也许星座是对的
射手向往着自己，空间

交代是我觉得很麻烦的事
几乎我也没向爸妈交代我的事
我太以自己为中心了
时常忽略你的感受
可是只就是我的本性
所谓江山易改，本性难移

这几天你我把关系搞得很僵
说服自己别对你不耐烦
可是几句话以后
总露出不愿的一面

问自己感情是否走到终点了
不然怎么自己对你的态度
日渐差劲，日渐无奈
这感觉不好受
又一次 想放弃了

问自己你是我所爱的吗
你要求的我不如所愿
反之心里头抓狂着
“该怎样 给你好的交代”
我怎么了，
何时对你的方式变成
“交代” 了....

问自己成熟是否自己缺少的
怎么一次又一次的
分分合合
我又迷惘了 ！
我搞不懂 自己怎么了...

CNY-2011 bus ticket...



belong to me and osk...





belong to Pauline and Chris


 
Those picture attached as above are our tickets back to hometown
during CNY 2011!
Can't even to believe we all works in Singapore 
have buy before 3 months earlier, marvellous,right?
and ticket per head cost S$117.00..damn it...
much expensive than normal price as around S$40.
However, no choice...
cos we have back to our home
and celebrate such meaningful festival
with our beloved family members.
Every year i wish to have reunion dinner
with my dear family
it do mean me much.


la..la...la..
the ticket let me feel the CNY is around the corner
i much expect for its coming...



come to end , but to be continue ^^...

I was back from my home on this early morning,
5am to reach my "Singapore Home"...
Three days two nights, such a short while blissful hours i had.
However, these few days did granted me a lot of wishes,funs,loves, etc...
while old old friends gather together is the precious moment and its unforgetable


First day to reach hometown,
we had hang out for Sing K,
such a gorgeous ladies night,
total nine ladies of us in a K box
wau...i think it's more frolicly, more lively than CNY's gathering
to our astonishment more than 300pcs photo
we had been captured....awesome!!
and some candid photograph damn funny,
especially those from Osk and Maggi..
i was even laugh out loudly alone in my room...
sound like i'm insane one...haha~~


And my mum did boiled me ABC soup without my request
for me it was the tastiest soup in this world,
as usual i finished whole bowl of the soup...
ABC soup always is my favourite till my life end =D
 my parents space their time as well to accompany me
and chat me late at the night.


While i get into my parent's room
nostalgic was burning inside my heart,
since last time when me and brothers were a child,
we did lay on parent's bed to make complaint on each others,
sometimes did jumped onto bed to fun around too,
when i was sleeping in parent's room,
warmest atmosphere within me,
and fall asleep in few minute so i was slept tight
i know my heart filled with peace and love in this room.


Sadly, this moment me and brothers had grown up,
intimacy between us not tight as before too,
because we were far away from each others,
but, i wanna keep those memory with them
deep into my heart,  into my mind,
i think much good sake we had done before our life
thanks God let us being as family members


here i say i love my dearest family and friends..muakz ~.~


even though i back to singapore now,
but i will wait for the next turn back to home =D


so..just pursue myself
being apart a while may bring me greatest happiness too...

Smile on my days =)

Regretful ?

I have an indescribable feeling...

feel it's not right

my excited had chill out, confuse is ruined me

and last night i can't sleep tight

i guess i have  nightmare as well

since time to wake up i felt tired

and lethargy strongly overtaking me

those were let  me lapse into moody

unlike before the day i back to home

excitement trap me wholenight till

i was planning wanna do this do that...

and now, i had no such feeling! so,

am i make wrong decision back to home?

or may be i  should stay and

keep the chance to apply leave for next month

since two more times i need to take leave

and frequently take leave within two months! 

it is not a nice scene...a good worker won't do that

my image to management
 going spoil !!

but no choice, i have to keep forward on it

i'm just a person always let myself suffuse  with

REGRETFUL.....

urgh~~~~~~~

i was suffering , my mind keep whispering:

"i should stay, what i did is worthless"

why back because of friend?

arghhhhhhh~~~

fine, next time i won't silly like now...

just let me back home in peacefuly

just let me have a fabulous weekend

 screaming in heart:

desperately keep away from "REGRETFUL"

 

here i to use magic spells:

Tammy, you gonna have an enjoyful weekend,

and what you did is worth, friend must grateful  it,

and I will return more I was expect.

yaps....cheer up right now..wow.......

let smile walk in my days =D

and

safe journey ...

papa,mama...i miss yours all!

i'm.....

wau..this thrusday i going back to my hometown,

and it just happen in a second without in my plan.

while i knew Alice decided to go back , and

so coincidence Syen, Yoke and Osk...my best buddies

they all able to meet around in hometown

but to leave me, said to me wanna hang out together,

and this moment, my heart was hurting cos i wanna be with them too

monday i called to mum to seek her advise,

and so sweet, she said if wanna back just come back,

and mum will clean my mattress and room as well^^

even though i told her just leave it, but she insist to do for me.

Love from my mum just alike the sky, it's boundless =D

so it comfrmed that i gonna back to my home and

having fun with all of them...

but sadly,

someone so cruel to be wet blanket, he just a killer of my joy,

said like it not worth purposely go back for a friend,

and according to him, i'm a person only care friend more than a lover,

until let my lover gootta feel nothing on himself,

hmmm...i know i was the kind of person,

but personality is inherently one, i can't control on it.

after his words, thinking late at night:

to ask myself, i think no any one will act silly like me,

next time i should curb myself on such an impulse.

since decision had been make, so let myslef fully enjoy of it

i could not waste out such precious off day.

Thanks God serve me in the right track of my life journey.

Yours accompany mean evertyhing for me.

God blessing.....

=D

无奈

因为在乎

眼泪才有机可乘

把心中压抑的悲伤

最终 化为泪水

在脸上画下无奈

曾经误以为你会改变

带着一点关怀让你窝心

曾经苦口婆心对你唠叨
抱着一线希望你能听进心里

到最后你还是打回原形

继续沉迷你的游戏世界

 好想对你不闻不问

好想对你于世隔绝

无奈 血浓于水

你是我的家人 何于忍心呢

痛恨自己为何那么在乎

你一贯性的

如此堕落 如此任性

忽视爸妈的感受

滥用爸妈的宠爱

为所欲为你觉得对的事

难道你忘了他们的付出吗？

难道你不心疼他们两老吗？

何时你才觉悟？

何时让爸妈对你除去担忧？

心疼你好好的一个人

为何有如此下落，

做好本分有那么难吗？

面对你 心很疼 很无奈

Questioning…….

A string of questions spinning in my mind

Am I suit to survive in current field,

Since I just such a careless person,

Always can’t perform well on my task….

Account unbalance frequently ruins me

Feel depressive on myself =(

Where is my circumspection?

Where is my precaution?

Where is the knowledge impacted by lectures?

Keep questioning keep sighing~~

 

 why not myself take initiative ask someone to guide me?

why not myself learn something new during free time? 

why not myself be motivate all the time?

why not myself have ambitious like friend has?

why the others can carry well but not me?

why i only know crying in the heart?

so foolish of me.....

so failure of me.......

 

with such limited account skills,

i wonder how long can i survive in this company?

without guideline how to complete my task?

urggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhh.........

i'm exhausted keep questioning myself.

 

i'm not a tough person

i desire an angle beside with me all the time

and settle what i have to face.

;(

 

Imagine that...

today,saturday...

after half day work

will meet buddy for lunch,

then come an idea go to seaside

imagine that

wind come to me

i saw smile on my buddy

cold nostalgic chills within me

yup...much we had been though

i not alone because of them

imagine that

wind come to me

papa and mama walk along the beach

feel blissful my parents can rest from work

desperately wish them can lead an enjoyable life

immensenly grateful for their sacrified

imagine that

wind come to me

 i have u beside me

and i look my hands

your fingers perfectly fit

the spaces between my fingers

and i know

you the one i loved

Depressive Day !!

Wau..such a headche moment i been though on today...
it was just because i busy for the account transactions to be complete for month end.
i was suffering repeated setbacks, sign for debit and credit on account treatment totatlly depressed me.
i blamed myself for the mistake had done, how come i can be so careless,
even detail is wrtten for me to key in, but i still wrong with it....what the hell i'm doing!
i can't judge what account should be trade in for the transaction,
i don't know what transaction should be do for the month end adjustment, and
i just have blank mind for the account done........i'm just useless who don't know everything..haiz~~
if i lost my superior guide me for it, early of time i can't survive in this company,and
compulsory acc head fired me. such a great failure am i at this moment. *sight~~~~~
where is my concentration, where is my circumspection, where is my account knowledge....
i lost all of them, how should i let them surrounded me...urge to need them badly.

Improvement on myself , right now, right here~~

流浪

好想流浪

我的心情

随着清风四处旅行

把爱，把恨

调至于平衡点

只想

轻轻松松像风一样

无重力无牵挂

好想流浪

我的心情

随着大海四处漂流

把烦恼，把思绪

由海浪卷走

只想

潇潇洒洒像海一样

熊涛汹涌以后

也有风平浪静的时刻

流浪。。

流浪我的心情吧！