Grumbling....

After came back from my hometown holiday, I just felt my life so meaningless, not even able to figure out any reasons for live of tomorrow. Ruined, single word best describe my current situation.



Whenever, wherever I been, I just homesick. Desperately did! Miss my parent, miss my brothers and miss my dog barking. Recently I had leaded a tedious life in Singapore. Robotic and systematic life has been though for couple of weeks. Everyday work till 6pm, I just back to home in laziness which not belongs to me. Seriously is absence of sense of belonging.


Nothing I can do except than drama session from notebook. Normally, I watch till bed time and again next morning wake up for work. Sucks!


Sometimes, I may found my present have intervened my owner’s life. I felt immensely grateful for their great kindness towards me. However, at the same time I was ashamed too.


How long I have to been thru such life? Struggling……


I have to convince myself that it was much worth for me to work in Singapore. At least my earnings can let my family have a better life. And, I may support youngest brother for a better study opportunity. So, bear with it. Perhaps one day I may find that Singapore just alike my home sweet home. Let see and wait.


Life so short, I should not let the sigh did exist frequently in my life journey.


Well, lets be an optimistic. Say that “What a wonderful world”.

心疼了

替妈妈打了个电话要爸爸载我回家时，
惊愕地妈妈会对我说让爸爸多睡一会，
可以的话就乘坐朋友爸爸的车回到家，
朋友说着：“我爸爸还在睡梦中也来接我”
这时候情绪突然陷入抽绪中，
浅浅的眼泪在眼眶打滚着
沉沉的失落感压逼着自己

踏进家门既然听到你跟爸妈顶撞了，
只因你所谓的女王突然挂断电话，
你只理会那鲁莽的情绪爆发在爸妈那，
你可否考虑爸妈的立场，
你的态度造成了他们永远的刺痛
就不能理智地跟爸妈妥协吗？
怎么连基本的尊重你也忽视了


做姐姐的我也很无能
我们不再是懵懂的小孩了
也不适宜再唠唠叨叨你了
只默默盼望着你这一次
你能领悟到爸妈的苦心


在我世界里，
家人可以是我的全部
没奢求你也像我一样，
爸妈也一把年纪了，
多爱他们一天是一天。


感情的事仅仅是过眼云烟
血浓于水的亲情唯是不朽

生命语录

岁数的成长 使我把生命看得好卑微

似乎下一秒会消失了

尽管有数不尽的来不及

也没有选择多待一秒的余地

因此，常常对自己说，

每一次见的人 或许就是最后一面

及时行乐 乐在其中

秉持着悲观中最乐观的宗旨

替自己的生命篇写下最美丽的回忆篇

要是的词语常常给我很多的假想像

比如

要是结束生命的权利落在我手中

我选择于生命结束的方式是可以倒数的

让结束来临前 尽自己最大的力量

把生命中的遗憾一一删掉

少一个是一个 我满足也

很多话语总是习惯收藏于心房里

不擅于对深爱的身边人诉说

奢侈着自己有许多的明天

好让自己存够了勇气再表白

或许那天来临了 可是总会来不及

我得无时无刻提醒着自己

别把事情话语寄放那抽象的明天

我有的是实实在在的今天

。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。

我的生命起源是

 家人 朋友 爱人

占据了最大的部分

他们的存在形成了今天的我

快乐的 幸福的 无悔的

我的爱 是 来自于 他们真诚的爱

感谢 感恩



My words...

Dear, facing you
I'm fullness with sinful and guilty

I have no strength to make it right

I have no faith to step for the next

I have no trust to the scene in future

Perhaps I never put my belief on it

Dear, so sorry

What did happened before

You never blame on me

You never bring it out

You never ask me why

Perhaps your love quench over it

 

Dear, thank you

Bear with my unreasonable nonsense

Every time move it onto right path

Ignore words of bystander those against me

Every time turn to the one twist into straight

Make me feel I'm always is the right one

 

Till now, I'm not the one deserve

To make any decision

Perhaps I should make it fair to you

You’ll be the one decide it after all

I wish I could end my life

By loving you ever forever

And no others will be.

 

Dear,

Your hug melting me into your arm

Your kiss devouring me into your body

Your love burning my soul just for you

Uncontrollable

These few days , I was just lost control....
I had serious bad tempered while facing you.
Gods know what had happened!
Deep upon my heart was full with impatient and unsatisfied as well.
Thought that bury those negative feel deeply inside somewhere of the heart may help me stop to blame on you. Sadness, it doesn't work.
While I was in moody, I pull all on you, I talk you in heavy tone.
Even I know you are the innocent, but I still persist on my such jerky bad tempered.
I had strong reaction while you make apologize cos I know it not going to heel anything.
I am sorry. I was ruining this relationship. I was wrong.
Perhaps I need time to calm down my mind.
I have no enough love on you to get thru such moment.
Along the years,I always was the selfish one...