Regret?

Another lonely weekend. 
Nothing to do so tidy up my stuffs.
After that, thought wanna do revision on my account, but i have no motivation on reading non-fiction books,haha.so screw it up...lalala^^

While put back my notes I saw my pink colour file,inside were those of my life time certificates.
AGAIN !! ( free time i may do so too), i turn over my grade has been achieved along the years. 
Well, little proud to myself since those grades that i have achieved not really worse and some A too. haha...I'm to be intoxicated with self-praise.
Actually, i felt regret by not put great effort - the 100% on my study.

Each time i just deemed that as long i can answer some part and pass will do.
Guess only 60% to 70% effort been put.
If i was study hard and i might be the uni-graduated.

In primary school i used to think my bright future by qualified myself study in university.
During uni-moment I'll able meet my love one who are smart enough to guide me to assist me pass thru exam & assignment moment. He and me may participate in same activities, and together we have frolicsome, valuable memories. Till the day to convocation,till the day to marriage, till the days we getting old.
Each phase of my life  evidence and been thru together with me.
Wau...Sound like an epic poem.
This scenery used to be my dream. A dream never come true because i never determine to realize it. 

So is my dream am regret to my self? yes, it did.
At least i learned a lesson, everyone must master our dream by pursuing the best and put the greatest effort.
A successful will never happen on those who speaks louder than actions. Perhaps on the way of successful we may lost somes, but we gain somes too. I shall not take of present lost as great loss in future.
Time to change my attitude. Must hold tight what i desire for.
Be firm! be dedicate!

Bad day... or may be not?

Yesterday was a worst worked day. It wasn’t smoothly for whatever I had done.

The event most I minded was the words from lady boss.

Actually not a big deal, but I just can’t control myself keep thinking in my minds.

Yah, I’m the one who care people words till no end.

Just freaking hatred towards this of my weakness, well….perhaps one day can change me to be better than that. BUT God knows when!

Unusual coincidence happened at lunch hours, that moment my account head was washing her vegetables while I was cutting my apple. My account head had left awhile when lady boss came into pantry. Lady boss had saw there was left over some vegetables in the filter of the sink. This moment, she was saying to me: Tammy you guys must clear the filter after washed the vegetables otherwise may caused the wash basin clogged up. Gosh, screaming deep inside my heart, lady boss why not you make it clear by asking who the one was washing vegetables. I’m not the one you referred! Damn it. I declared to the lady boss, I’m wasn’t the person and was my head was washing halfway.  Urggh…so innocent of me! 

After all, came back to my seat for my lunch. Within 20minutes, my phone was ringing.

A call from another deadly bore Singaporean aunty, asking me on shares matters. I told her I was known nothing regards it, and should refer to boardroom. Then she asked me the contact no of boardroom, I answered I don’t know. Actually, that time I can surf from internet, but my mind was stuck. Just realized can do so afterwards.  After words answered don’t know to her again, I was “bomb” by her….bla...bla..bla and bla…….Singaporean style, tendency to complaint at anywhere and anytime.  She had spoiled my lunch hours relax time. Damn her.

One more case, I was taken my initiative to help my account head passed over the amended account document to QS head. Since N years, my finance controller and QS head wasn’t get well on each others. However, I deemed as not a problem to hand over to QS head by myself. Ish, when I was told her the amended document, she said to me in arrogant tone: You can’t simply pass to me just like this, I had sent out email notified all boss already, must evidence the amended copy by the e-mail. fxxxing evil with black-hearted old women. You just deliberately complicated the easy work. Ok…I will bear with you. I believed in soon or later a human evil action will deserve their retribution. 

Lets smile walk though depression.

In a day I had been experience those, What a day! Just comfort myself those unlucky had passed though. After all, good luck is following me right now. When life brings me to my knees, I should be learned and should not be depressed. Cheers up Tammy, days are still great and please lead in happiness. smile.

Future Plan

Future

Desire for a splendorous future

But not an easy word to realize it

Used to be pretend like a naive girl

Thought that tomorrow will never come

Soon or later the world will has its end

Pointless to plan for the future

Such pessimism of me

Shall tell to myself: keep awake!

World only deserve for people in plan

And I should have a plan

No matter how absurdity of it

A plan is a hope for a human

Hope is a lighter in our life journey

Well…trying live in a hope

So, let writing my future plan

Here is my ideal marital list

If my dear afford to grant my wish

I would like to have:

A double storey house

Enable spacious room for

Me and he, his parent, my parent and

Also include two of our children.

emm, like this case

 Minimum five rooms are required!

Parents is my most vital existence

My happiness mostly granted by them

Even I’m married

Forcibly convince them stay with me

ngek negk ;)

I just kinda of girl need a well pamper

So my husband MUST agree in my way

lalala~~~

And mama’s home cooking is the

The blissful smell I ever tasted.

After that, if affordable

Wish to possess two of private cars

Surely one is belong to dear and

Cannot de deny the other one is mine

Live in Malaysia without a car!

Sure have to bear uncountable inconvenience

Actually I had no idea

How many bucket of money is needed to realize my wishes?

Some more miscellaneous expenses yet to count

Education fees for children?

urgh…..value of money ruined my dream

Dear did ask me put confidence on him

He is promised to let my dream come true

But question here, where I should find the word of

“CONFIDENCE”

Whole-heartily trust a people, must equip myself enough of

“COURAGE” to endure consequences of disappointment

Frankly, I was not ready for it.

How could I wish my husband is a guy who

 Rich + faithful + handsome

My request tend to be over and over

Well, doesn’t a matter just a plan.

Let fully occupy our brain

To plan on fantasy dream of future.

My little dreamland ^^

闲.日记

孤孤单单过了一个人的假日，明天又得如往常的回到工作岗位，感叹着好无奈也！

还是看在钱的份上挨过去好了，有钱总是好办事。

图书馆成为了我消磨时间的好地方，一来可以带着自己的小电脑上网，二来可以充实自己看看一些书籍。还不知道自己原来蛮喜欢看书的，有一次还看过了时间，过了晚餐的时间也不知道，我总是那么大意。

今天很意外地可以跟阿强网聊，总算能省点小钱，一个月买的国际通话卡也不少啊，可是为了听到对方的声音并且知道最近发生的事情，这点钱倒是省不下去了。

在图书馆里，感觉着这世界就是那么美好。周围都是善良的小矮人，看着他们认真阅读的模样不禁想起了童年的自己，那时候的我倒没看书的兴趣，应该和弟弟们在家里胡闹吧。再看着大姐姐抱起小弟弟，好让矮小的弟弟能够亲手拿到高书架的书本，这情景真是百感交集啊。想当年我抱着小弟，今时今日小弟的`格子比我还高一个头呢！总是擅于回首以往的点点滴滴，或许就是看不开，放不下，总是奢侈的美好的可以持续永久，结果搞得当下的自己闷闷不乐，要探讨着这潇洒的放下，还真的得看透其中之玄啊。

今天是父亲节，人在远方不能跟爸爸庆祝。刚才打电话给爸爸，他既然把电话留在家里也，唯有多一会再打回去。有人说，爸爸是女儿上辈子的情人，这话挺有味道的，可是再三思觉得好奇怪，跟妈妈岂不是情敌了，笑话，哈。要是我留在家里，想必定跟家人在庆祝了。这失落感沉沉地打响我一刻也不想留在新加坡的念头，怀着游子心情跟至亲的家人分开着。可是人长大了，自己得理智的回想，多赚几个钱可以让家人过好一点的生活，爸妈也可以提早退休，再也无需埋头苦干替我们存个钱。

给自己五年的时间，这极限会让自己的日子好过一点点，总结来说，我待在外地国家也有一个结束点。一直倒数着，一天一天就到啦，哈哈。那么天真，这话说起来苟且也和二十四的女人拉不上关系咧。我就说嘛，至今陈敏盈还是大小孩。

难。

总有那么一个时候

孤单地走在人潮拥挤的街上

恍然发现自己是多么的寂寞

一个又一个陌生的脸孔

一座又一座高楼的建筑

一道又一道多丛的小巷

唯能

与失落对上称号的朋友

任由沮丧遨游脆弱的心灵

假装不曾被坏心情绊倒

嘴角总是习惯地向上扬

宁可埋藏心地一处

也不想被他人发现

倔强地证明我没怎么样

在这个城市里的年华

遗失了属于自己的归属感

不敢奢望何日失而复得

前面的路还得盲目走下去

纵容自己视为金钱的俘虏

抛开那所谓的妙想天开欲望

坦然地面对自己的人生旅途

一份苦一份甜是取舍于自己

冒然怨天怨地的为愚者也

宿醒吧～